Family....

I am super grateful for the relationship we have with my family. I just wish they were closer.  I missed them today!

Some days I still feel like I am trying to figure this out.

Random for the sake of being random

Andy is at work.  I've read.  Ate a hot dog.  Played with Annie.  Tried to watch HGTV.  Stared out the window.  Checked my e-mail 4 times and looked up youtube videos on Les Mis.  I. am. bored.  So, for my own entertainment here are the random thoughts going through my head right now.

1.  I want Jennifer Lawrence to be my best friend
2.  Since I apparently don't make my resolutions til 3 weeks after the new year, my resolution is to read 20 books by December 31st.
3.  I have not had Dr. Pepper/Coke/Pepsi in over a year.  Self high five.
4.  I want to be in the family from Parenthood
5.  I wish that my internet would just work all the time and not be stupid
6.  Is blogging even a thing anymore?
7. The soundtrack from Les Mis has been stuck in my head since Christmas
8. I miss Andy
9. I wish I was more secure in who I am and could just be happy with that instead of feeling like it would be better to be someone else.
10. I want to go to Seattle. Or really anywhere where I can look out the window and see water.

Moving on...

This quote has been in my head a lot the past few months. I have the tendency to hold onto things and let them dictate how I feel or behave in certain situations. I sometimes fall into the misconception that any problem has to be fixed before you can move on. There have been a couple specific situations recently that this applies to. I can't seem to let these things go. I feel like I'm owed an apology or am waiting for someone else to make the first move. The raw, honest truth is that I want to feel like I am worth something to someone else. I want to feel like having a relationship with me is important enough to someone that they would take the first step. Reality, however, proves that this is not the way the world works. I can't make people want to have a relationship with me. I can't make people attempt to mend rifts. All I can do is accept the way things are and attempt to move on.

Man vs. Annie

Annie has been on a hunger strike for the past couple days. Apparently she decided she doesn't like the pills we are giving her for her arthritis. Yesterday I put little pieces of the pills in a hot dog just to try and get her to eat. She ate the hot dog and spit the pills back into her bowl. We got the last laugh when we crushed the pills to powder and sprinkled it on some leftover steak. She scarfed it down in two seconds. We won't let her beat us.

Student-isms

Asking first grade students to explain their answers in writing always produces some comical,  if not very matter-of-fact results.

Q: How do you know your shape is not a triangle?

A: Because the paper said

Q: How do you know your shape is not a triangle?

A: Because it is a rectangle.

Duh.

Thoughts...

I have been wanting to write down something that could possibly express the profound heartache I feel after the tragic shooting in Connecticut on Friday.  I didn't find out what had happened until around lunch time on Friday.  Every news story we heard had different information so I didn't know of the extent of what had happened until later that night. 

 I can't even begin to attempt to try and put into words the thoughts and feelings that I have had since Friday.  My initial reaction was confusion. I just can not wrap my mind around what could have possibly led to this.  My heart just aches for the parents that have lost their babies, the families that have lost mothers, daughters and sisters, and the community that is changed forever. 

One thought I keep going back to is how close this hits to home.   This could be my school. They could be my first graders.  I go into my classroom and look at the faces of my little 6 and 7 year-olds and wonder how on earth someone could want to hurt them.  God bless those brave teachers that stayed with their students and tried to protect them.  As a teacher I know that those children become your own and protecting them wouldn't take a seconds thought.

I am amazed by the strength of the parents that have lost their children.   I am inspired by their faith.  Life is too short.  Life is too short for anger and bitterness.  Give your kids an extra hug.  Tell a teacher thank you.  Tell someone that you love them.  Make amends and forgive.  Be a force for good. 

Tomorrow my first graders will be sending snowflakes to Connecticut.  They will be used to decorate the hallways of the school that the students from Sandy Hook will be attending.  I hope that the families of Newtown can feel the love and prayers that are being sent their way.

Good song. Great message.