Recently for some reason I have been finding Chuck Norris sayings and jokes and I just thought I would share some on this blog. Since I rarely add anything of significance to Sara's and my blog I thought I'd continue that with this.
1. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch... He decides what time it is.
2. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe he holds air hostage
3. There is no ctrl button on Chuck Norris' computer because Chuck Norris is always in control.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he is the only person who recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Some people can burp the alphabet but Chuck Norris can fart out the dictionary.
6. Chuck Norris escaped a high speed police pursuit on a broken rocking horse.
7. Chuck Norris can stab you to death with a bubble.
8. Chuck Norris kicked a donkey in the chin. Its decedents are known as giraffes.
9. Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he pushes the world down.
10. Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
11. Chuck Norris uses a stunt double... for crying scenes.
12. The reason for Global Warming is Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun.
13. Some people wear superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
14. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
15. When the boogieman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
16. Chuck Norris can speak braille.
17. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle bin.
18. Chuck Norris can run Windows 7 on his etch-a-sketch.
19. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
20. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
21. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
22. Chuck Norris can build a snowman in the rain.
23. Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
24. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
25. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.